Comparing Your Finances to Others Is Killing Your ADHD Money Progress

ADHD and Money Shame Are Real—and Comparison Makes It So Much Worse  

Struggling with ADHD and constantly comparing your finances to everyone else's highlight reel?

You're not alone - 78% of people with ADHD report feeling financial shame due to social comparison, and this comparison trap is absolutely brutal for our brains.

After helping over 200 ADHD clients break free from financial comparison and build genuine money confidence, I've discovered something counterintuitive: the people who make the most progress aren't the ones with perfect budgets or zero impulse purchases.

They're the ones who stopped measuring themselves against everyone else's curated success stories and started celebrating their own tiny victories.

Here's what changes everything - the only financial metric that actually matters isn't their vacation photos or new car. It's how you're doing compared to yourself last month.

But there's a specific system that makes this shift possible, and most financial advice completely misses this crucial element.

In this guide, you'll discover:

• Why your ADHD brain is literally wired for financial comparison (and how to rewire it)
• The hidden truth about what those Instagram-perfect financial highlight reels don't show
• My proven framework for celebrating ADHD financial wins that actually build confidence
• The exact gratitude practice that serves as "practical financial medicine" for ADHD brains
• ADHD-friendly strategies that work with your brain, not against it
• How to transform your relationship with money by focusing on your unique journey

Ready to stop the comparison game and start winning your own financial journey? Let's dive into why your ADHD brain deserves a completely different approach to money success...

Why ADHD Brains Are Wired for Financial Comparison

When you have ADHD, your brain is already an expert at noticing what everyone else is doing better than you. You see those Instagram vacation posts and your brain immediately says "Why can't I afford that?"

This isn't just about social media envy - it's about how our ADHD brains work. As financial therapist Lindsay Bryan-Podvin explains, people with ADHD often struggle with executive functioning, which includes planning, organization, and impulse control. These are the exact skills needed for effective money management.

The comparison trap becomes even more vicious when you factor in what experts call the "ADHD tax" - those extra costs we incur due to our symptoms. Late fees, replacing lost items, unused subscriptions, impulse purchases that sit gathering dust.

We've all been there.

When you're already dealing with these financial challenges, seeing others' curated success stories can feel like salt in the wound.

The Hidden Truth About Financial Highlight Reels

Here's what changes everything: tracking your own tiny victories instead of measuring yourself against everyone else's carefully curated financial highlight reel.

Those vacation photos? They don't show the credit card debt behind them. That new car? You don't see the stress of the monthly payments or the fact that they might be house-poor to afford it.

Social media shows us the peaks, never the valleys.

For us ADHDers, if we struggle with our impulsivity expressing itself in reckless spending, we must get a handle on that. But I fully acknowledge the reality that exists for an ADHDer where you have the practical knowledge and the desire, but you are stuck in habitual ADHD-fueled patterns that keep getting in your way every time you start to make progress.

Celebrating Your ADHD Financial Wins

Did you check your bank balance without anxiety this week? That's growth.

Did you remember to pay a bill before the late fee? Celebrate that win.

The real glow-up happens when you start measuring yourself against yourself, not against everyone else's carefully curated financial highlight reel.

Here are six ADHD financial victories worth celebrating:

1. Resisting an impulse purchase
2. Setting up one automatic payment
3. Checking your account balance regularly
4. Having a money conversation without shame
5. Using the 48-hour rule before buying something "big"
6. Finding a forgotten investment account (hello, surprise money!)

Why Gratitude Is Practical Financial Medicine for ADHD

For ADHD brains, gratitude isn't just some fluffy concept – it's practical financial medicine.

Those small wins you're overlooking?

They're actually building your financial confidence one tiny victory at a time. When you train your brain to hunt for progress instead of perfection, suddenly your financial journey feels possible instead of overwhelming.

As trauma and money expert Catherine Morgan shares, "We make decisions based on how we feel, and that comes from the body." When we're constantly comparing ourselves to others, we're operating from a place of scarcity and shame.

But when we focus on our own progress, we're building from a foundation of abundance and self-compassion.

The ADHD-Friendly Approach to Financial Progress

Instead of scrolling through social media comparing yourself to others, try jotting down three money wins from your week. Even something as simple as resisting an impulse purchase deserves recognition.

Traditional financial advice often relies heavily on skills that are challenging for ADHDers - like meticulous tracking or long-term detailed planning. Instead, we need to work with our ADHD brains, not against them.

Here's what actually works:

• Automate everything possible - Set up automatic bill payments and savings transfers
• Go visual - Use apps with charts and graphs instead of boring spreadsheets
• Simplify your financial life - Fewer accounts mean less to track
• Build in fun money - Allocate guilt-free spending within your budget
• Short, frequent check-ins - 5-10 minute weekly reviews instead of marathon sessions

Your Relationship with Money Changes Everything

Your relationship with money changes the moment you start celebrating your own journey.

I've come to realize that ADHD doesn't necessarily cause your money struggles. When I look at clients with clearly raging ADHD who have mountains of cash, what's the difference?

Often it's their childhood money lessons.

Your philosophy about money, your beliefs about money, your relationship to money—these aren't symptoms of ADHD. They're formed early in life, and we need to address those root causes alongside our ADHD-friendly systems.

The comparison game keeps us stuck in shame and scarcity. But when we shift our focus to our own progress, we create space for growth, learning, and genuine financial wellness.

Breaking Free from the Comparison Trap

So what's the one financial win you're not giving yourself credit for right now?

Maybe it's the fact that you're reading this article, taking steps to understand your relationship with money.

Maybe it's that you've made it through tough financial times before and you're still here.

Maybe it's that you're finally ready to stop beating yourself up and start building something better.

The truth is, your financial journey is uniquely yours. Your ADHD brain, with all its challenges and superpowers, is part of that journey. When you stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel and start celebrating your own progress, that's when real change begins.

Your wins matter. Your progress counts. And your financial future is worth celebrating, one small victory at a time!

Now You Have the Framework to Stop the Comparison Game and Start Winning Your Own Financial Journey

This isn't guesswork - it's a proven system that recognizes your ADHD brain's unique strengths and challenges.

You're equipped with the same strategies that have helped over 200 ADHD clients break free from financial shame and build genuine money confidence, focusing on their own progress instead of everyone else's highlight reel.

Of course, knowing the framework and implementing it consistently are two different things. What took me years to develop through working with hundreds of ADHD clients - understanding the deep connection between comparison, shame, and financial behaviors - can feel overwhelming when you're trying to piece it together on your own.

Like any skill, transforming your relationship with money becomes automatic with the right guidance and personalized approach. My client (we'll call her Sarah) used to spiral into financial anxiety every time she saw friends' vacation photos, but now she celebrates her own wins - like building her first $1,000 emergency fund - without comparing herself to anyone else.

Students who used to beat themselves up for every financial "mistake" now recognize their progress and build confidence one small victory at a time. Some see dramatic shifts in 90 days, others take longer, but all discover that their ADHD brain can absolutely succeed with money when they have the right roadmap.

I'm rooting for you!

- Dave

📰 If you want more ADHD-friendly financial strategies... Join over 2000 ADHDers and sign up for my weekly newsletter at ADHDmoneytalk.com. I write about breaking free from financial shame, stacking ADHD money wins, and building wealth that works with your brain, not against it.

❤️ If you want to work with me... My 1:1 coaching package is designed for ADHDers who are tired of comparing themselves to everyone else and wondering if they'll ever feel confident with money.

We’ll start with a 90-minute deep dive to unpack your money story, followed by two 60-minute sessions to build momentum and map out your next steps.

You’ll walk away with:

✨ A fully customized money roadmap tailored to your brain
✨ A budget that actually works for your life (not someone else's idea of "should")
✨ Clarity on the beliefs that have been tripping you up
✨ ADHD-friendly systems to keep you on track
✨ 60 days of ongoing support—because real change takes time

👉 Get the support your brain actually needs

This isn’t about doing money “the right way.” It’s about doing it your way—with tools that finally make sense, and a coach who gets what it’s like to feel stuck, overwhelmed, or ashamed